Not All Babies Read the Books
As an expectant young mom, I spent a lot of time reading “the books.” You know the ones. They promise you an easy baby that falls naturally into a routine by week 2 and is sleeping peacefully through the night by week 9. For obvious reasons this appealed to me and I had a game plan ready and waiting the minute I went into the hospital. My plan was flawless, I knew those books inside out and was certain that with my trusted manuals at my side, I too could have an easy baby that slept through the night early on and afforded me the rest I needed to be the fantastic parent I intended to be. I was prepared for every possible thing this new babe could throw at me...except one thing. No one told me that not all babies read the books.
Apparently, my baby was one of the few who didn’t. Now this would have been okay-had I not read the books. But I had. And they promised me sleep. Glorious sleep...the holy grail of new motherhood! To top it off, my close friends (new moms who had also read “the books,”) were touting the authors’ praises! Their babies HAD read the books and were doing just as the books said they would! Those women were getting sleep. Glorious, undisturbed sleep!..the holy grail...well, you get the picture.
What was wrong with me? I had every intention of being a GREAT mom. Now I was failing...wasn’t I? Each time I listened to a new mom regale me with the tale of how her four week old slept right through the night I cringed, and hurried home to dig out the books I had buried in the bottom of the drawer. I would pour through them again, trying to find the part I had missed...the one piece of the puzzle that I was somehow missing; the one ingredient that would turn me from “failing new mom,” into “successful new mom.” Frustrated, I would shove the books back into the bottom of the drawer, vowing never to look at them again, and carrying with me my deep, dark secret...I couldn’t get my baby to sleep through the night. What was I doing wrong???
I never found out. Many months later, as “the books” gathered dust in my basement, my little girl began to sleep through the night. As it turned out, she simply needed a little more time to figure things out on her own. Or perhaps, I needed a little more time to figure things out on MY own. Somewhere along the way, I had decided that an “easy baby” was one who slept through the night. Sleep was my measure of success as a new mom. You see, that’s what everyone around me talked about, the first question people asked me as they gazed upon my infant, “Is she sleeping through the night? How is she sleeping? Are you getting any sleep?” No one seemed to care about anything else. Or so I thought...
As it turns out, there are moms out there who would have loved to have a baby who didn’t need to be rocked to sleep, who was never colicky, made nursing a piece of cake, and wore little else than a smile on her precious little face. In hindsight, I was truly blessed! I wish now that I wouldn’t have wasted those first few months berating myself for doing something wrong, instead of celebrating the unique and wonderful creation my baby was. God had created her, in the words of the Psalmist, “wonderfully complex!”
22 months later, as I write this, my daughter is having her afternoon nap. She is a delightful child who makes us laugh hysterically every day. Across the hall, her 5 month old brother is asleep also. He doesn’t sleep through the night either. But he is a GREAT baby, and I’m finally convinced it’s because he has such a GREAT mom!
Apparently, my baby was one of the few who didn’t. Now this would have been okay-had I not read the books. But I had. And they promised me sleep. Glorious sleep...the holy grail of new motherhood! To top it off, my close friends (new moms who had also read “the books,”) were touting the authors’ praises! Their babies HAD read the books and were doing just as the books said they would! Those women were getting sleep. Glorious, undisturbed sleep!..the holy grail...well, you get the picture.
What was wrong with me? I had every intention of being a GREAT mom. Now I was failing...wasn’t I? Each time I listened to a new mom regale me with the tale of how her four week old slept right through the night I cringed, and hurried home to dig out the books I had buried in the bottom of the drawer. I would pour through them again, trying to find the part I had missed...the one piece of the puzzle that I was somehow missing; the one ingredient that would turn me from “failing new mom,” into “successful new mom.” Frustrated, I would shove the books back into the bottom of the drawer, vowing never to look at them again, and carrying with me my deep, dark secret...I couldn’t get my baby to sleep through the night. What was I doing wrong???
I never found out. Many months later, as “the books” gathered dust in my basement, my little girl began to sleep through the night. As it turned out, she simply needed a little more time to figure things out on her own. Or perhaps, I needed a little more time to figure things out on MY own. Somewhere along the way, I had decided that an “easy baby” was one who slept through the night. Sleep was my measure of success as a new mom. You see, that’s what everyone around me talked about, the first question people asked me as they gazed upon my infant, “Is she sleeping through the night? How is she sleeping? Are you getting any sleep?” No one seemed to care about anything else. Or so I thought...
As it turns out, there are moms out there who would have loved to have a baby who didn’t need to be rocked to sleep, who was never colicky, made nursing a piece of cake, and wore little else than a smile on her precious little face. In hindsight, I was truly blessed! I wish now that I wouldn’t have wasted those first few months berating myself for doing something wrong, instead of celebrating the unique and wonderful creation my baby was. God had created her, in the words of the Psalmist, “wonderfully complex!”
22 months later, as I write this, my daughter is having her afternoon nap. She is a delightful child who makes us laugh hysterically every day. Across the hall, her 5 month old brother is asleep also. He doesn’t sleep through the night either. But he is a GREAT baby, and I’m finally convinced it’s because he has such a GREAT mom!
Comments
Apparently Makena read only parts of the books. While mommy didn't read any of them. Nursing was a HUGE struggle at the beginiing but WITHOUT the books I perservered with her and we mastered it. I didn't do anything to MAKE her sleep thru the night early. She did that all on her own (that's the part she must have read!).
We learn as we go. No book can tell us how to 'exactly' do things because every child/baby is different but unique in the eyes of God!