Halftime
I got older this past weekend. And not just in the way all Moms steadily age with each tick of the proverbial clock and child induced grey hair. I officially celebrated the milestone of another year crossed off the calendar of my life. My 34th year, to be exact. Which means if you do the Math, I am now officially 34 years old and beginning my 35th year of life.
Someone called me “middle aged.” I laughed...until the veracity of the comment made its way to my aged brain. Then I stopped laughing.
Middle aged. In the middle of what?? Certainly utter chaos on a daily basis, but other than that?
So here I am peering into my rear view mirror, hoping that I haven’t squandered the first half of my life. I find myself wondering if I am where I want to be at this point in time. It’s hard to say. What I do know, is that I am having more fun these days than I ever have before! It often causes me to ask myself what I ever did that counted for anything prior to becoming a Mom. I am also relieved to be using my $50,000 teaching degree every day...not a penny wasted there. But I certainly never planned to wait this long to have children, and some days I long for the energy of my twenties...that university groomed ability to survive for days on minimal sleep. As a child, I loved having young, energetic parents. I cringe to think that if my children follow my own pattern of marrying and having children (relatively) later in life, then I may not be able to enjoy my Grandkids with the same vigor and stamina my parents seem to have when they interact with my own kids.
But why worry about tomorrow? Besides, I firmly believe in age being more of an attitude than a number generated from my birth certificate. And I’d like to think that my kids are keeping me young...when they’re not chasing me to my grave, that is. More importantly, they have taught me a lot. My eyes are opened daily to the selfishness I devoted the first half of my life to. And the only thing I am completely sure of (other than where I will spend eternity), is that as I get older, I realize that if I knew then what I know now...I could have “done life” so much better.
The irony of it all is that every choice and action I made in the first 34 years, have worked together to bring me to where I am today. And today seems pretty wonderful. So bring on the 35th year! More than ever, I am determined to make the second half of my life count for Eternity.
Someone called me “middle aged.” I laughed...until the veracity of the comment made its way to my aged brain. Then I stopped laughing.
Middle aged. In the middle of what?? Certainly utter chaos on a daily basis, but other than that?
So here I am peering into my rear view mirror, hoping that I haven’t squandered the first half of my life. I find myself wondering if I am where I want to be at this point in time. It’s hard to say. What I do know, is that I am having more fun these days than I ever have before! It often causes me to ask myself what I ever did that counted for anything prior to becoming a Mom. I am also relieved to be using my $50,000 teaching degree every day...not a penny wasted there. But I certainly never planned to wait this long to have children, and some days I long for the energy of my twenties...that university groomed ability to survive for days on minimal sleep. As a child, I loved having young, energetic parents. I cringe to think that if my children follow my own pattern of marrying and having children (relatively) later in life, then I may not be able to enjoy my Grandkids with the same vigor and stamina my parents seem to have when they interact with my own kids.
But why worry about tomorrow? Besides, I firmly believe in age being more of an attitude than a number generated from my birth certificate. And I’d like to think that my kids are keeping me young...when they’re not chasing me to my grave, that is. More importantly, they have taught me a lot. My eyes are opened daily to the selfishness I devoted the first half of my life to. And the only thing I am completely sure of (other than where I will spend eternity), is that as I get older, I realize that if I knew then what I know now...I could have “done life” so much better.
The irony of it all is that every choice and action I made in the first 34 years, have worked together to bring me to where I am today. And today seems pretty wonderful. So bring on the 35th year! More than ever, I am determined to make the second half of my life count for Eternity.
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