Life Isn't Fair
I remember the exact moment when I heard that for the first time.
My aunt and cousins were visiting from the States one summer and we were all packed into the car headed into town. Those were the days without seatbelt and child restraint laws, so all five cousins were likely crammed into the back seat (except my cousin...she was lucky enough to suffer from acute carsickness and often got to ride up front.) I have no idea how or why the conversation started, but one of us (I distinctly remember it wasn’t me), must have been complaining about some perceived inequality and uttered the notorious objection, “that’s not fair!”
Without hesitation, my Aunt turned around to the protester and stated quite emphatically, “Life isn’t fair!”
I was stunned. Really? Life wasn’t fair? This was not good news. In my juvenile world of jockeying for position amid my brother and sister, fairness was a necessity! Whether it was dividing up the breakfast bacon into equal shares or deciding whose turn it was to have to sleep in the back window of the car on a long trip (fortunately my brother always lost that one...with him being the shortest it really was a no brainer. Did I already qualify that these were the days before seatbelt and child restraint laws??) How could we survive a world that wasn’t fair? I remember pondering my Aunt’s statement the whole ride into town.
As a mom, I now know she was right. Hardly anything about life is fair Especially from a Mom’s perspective.
It’s not fair that Moms don’t get sick days. It’s not fair that the youngest person in the family decides what time everyone else is getting up. It’s not fair that I never get to sleep in...not even on Saturdays...not even on days when I’ve been up half the night. It’s not fair that I rarely get to spend time on my hobbies anymore. It’s not fair that our family’s clothing budget goes to the kids, while their dad and I look like scrubs half the time. It’s not fair that our parents don’t live closer, so that our kids can see their Grandparents once or twice a week, rather than once or twice a month...or even once or twice a year. It’s not fair that my husband has to go to work day after day to pay the bills, and I get to stay home enjoying our kids.
Life isn’t fair. That is undisputed. But so is the fact that I serve an entirely just and yet merciful God.
If He were to make things fair, I can only imagine what I’d deserve (the 23rd verses of Romans 3 and 6 come to mind). I have a suspicion that there is no room for grace and mercy in a completely fair world. And where would I, a mom in a constant state of “routine panic,” be without His daily mercy and grace?! The mercy that saves a helpless woman, stuck in her selfishness, and the gifts of grace...too many to recount here...but among which are a helpful, God-loving husband, two happy, healthy and hilarious children, and forgiveness for the many moments when I fall short.
Yes, life isn’t fair. And for that I can only say...Thanks be to God.
My aunt and cousins were visiting from the States one summer and we were all packed into the car headed into town. Those were the days without seatbelt and child restraint laws, so all five cousins were likely crammed into the back seat (except my cousin...she was lucky enough to suffer from acute carsickness and often got to ride up front.) I have no idea how or why the conversation started, but one of us (I distinctly remember it wasn’t me), must have been complaining about some perceived inequality and uttered the notorious objection, “that’s not fair!”
Without hesitation, my Aunt turned around to the protester and stated quite emphatically, “Life isn’t fair!”
I was stunned. Really? Life wasn’t fair? This was not good news. In my juvenile world of jockeying for position amid my brother and sister, fairness was a necessity! Whether it was dividing up the breakfast bacon into equal shares or deciding whose turn it was to have to sleep in the back window of the car on a long trip (fortunately my brother always lost that one...with him being the shortest it really was a no brainer. Did I already qualify that these were the days before seatbelt and child restraint laws??) How could we survive a world that wasn’t fair? I remember pondering my Aunt’s statement the whole ride into town.
As a mom, I now know she was right. Hardly anything about life is fair Especially from a Mom’s perspective.
It’s not fair that Moms don’t get sick days. It’s not fair that the youngest person in the family decides what time everyone else is getting up. It’s not fair that I never get to sleep in...not even on Saturdays...not even on days when I’ve been up half the night. It’s not fair that I rarely get to spend time on my hobbies anymore. It’s not fair that our family’s clothing budget goes to the kids, while their dad and I look like scrubs half the time. It’s not fair that our parents don’t live closer, so that our kids can see their Grandparents once or twice a week, rather than once or twice a month...or even once or twice a year. It’s not fair that my husband has to go to work day after day to pay the bills, and I get to stay home enjoying our kids.
Life isn’t fair. That is undisputed. But so is the fact that I serve an entirely just and yet merciful God.
If He were to make things fair, I can only imagine what I’d deserve (the 23rd verses of Romans 3 and 6 come to mind). I have a suspicion that there is no room for grace and mercy in a completely fair world. And where would I, a mom in a constant state of “routine panic,” be without His daily mercy and grace?! The mercy that saves a helpless woman, stuck in her selfishness, and the gifts of grace...too many to recount here...but among which are a helpful, God-loving husband, two happy, healthy and hilarious children, and forgiveness for the many moments when I fall short.
Yes, life isn’t fair. And for that I can only say...Thanks be to God.
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