Guilt, Grace and Vera Wang
Ever had one of those days when you lose control...when you open the cupboard door to grab some more patience and realize that you are fresh out?? Have you ever regretted your actions, thoughts or words in that moment?
Please know that you are not alone; that all Moms from time to time feel like announcing to their family that they are effectively on strike and will be walking the picket line until working conditions change in their favour. Now, you need to know that I am not referring to the very serious issue of PPD. I am simply talking about the normal feelings of frustration that most Moms experience once in a while (Did I say “Once in a while? Because I meant “EVERY SINGLE DAY”).
Believe it or not, there are other mothers who have entertained thoughts of slamming a few doors, throwing things, screaming at the top of their lungs or walking out the front door and running far, far away after the baby has been screaming all night and the toddler has pushed them to the very brink.
Not that you even follow through on any of these impulses, (I myself, have been known to slam a few doors, much to my husband’s chagrin), however the mere existence of these thoughts in your maternal head brings forth a new feeling...one that is equally disconcerting.
Guilt. A mother’s guilt: That heavy, heavy burden that moms never leave home without. I have a secret suspicion that the reason moms have to carry around such huge diaper bags is because they need a place to stash the guilt! Seriously though, guilt can eat away at your heart and leave you feeling ineffective and discouraged.
Moms seem to wear guilt as often and comfortably as our favourite pair of sweats. There are just so many things to feel guilty about as a Mom. In addition to the times when we lose our cool and snap just a little too easily, there are the days when we’re too busy scrubbing the crayon off the dining room walls to spend some time building block towers with our toddler, or the evenings when we’re feeding our family cereal for supper, yet again. And we haven’t yet mentioned the guilt that surrounds decisions involving staying home with our kids or working outside of the home. I could go on and on.
But let’s not. Guilt has already had enough air time. It’s time to introduce the challenger to this issue of a Mother’s guilt.
Grace.
While guilt could be compared to an old pair of sweats; grace, is more like a one of a kind Vera Wang that we admire through the shop window – we are hesitant to try it on and certain it would never fit. We consider it too exquisite, not suitable to cover our many flaws...more fitting for someone else.
Grace. Moms need it desperately and yet we are reluctant to afford it to ourselves
I say we admire the Vera Wang no longer. Try it on! You deserve it. You have one of the most difficult jobs in the universe. It is natural that you will have your days, your breakdowns, the moments that you are not proud of. You are human after all...attempting to do a job (motherhood) that requires supernatural strength, patience, and wisdom. So give yourself a break and start a new daily routine. Live in grace. When you feel the weight of guilt dragging you down, name it! Then claim the grace that abounds (2 Cor. 9:8niv), and as you put it on, let it transform your attitude and your actions in that moment. Revel in the peace and forgiveness it affords you.
Because there is something I forgot to mention about the Vera Wang. According to the price tag it has already been purchased. Your name is on the bill of sale, and while you never shelled out a dime for it, that Vera Wang is yours for the taking.
There is grace abundant, available to you. It`s true what they say; the clothes definitely make the woman, or in this case; the Mom. So wear it with confidence...and thanksgiving.
Please know that you are not alone; that all Moms from time to time feel like announcing to their family that they are effectively on strike and will be walking the picket line until working conditions change in their favour. Now, you need to know that I am not referring to the very serious issue of PPD. I am simply talking about the normal feelings of frustration that most Moms experience once in a while (Did I say “Once in a while? Because I meant “EVERY SINGLE DAY”).
Believe it or not, there are other mothers who have entertained thoughts of slamming a few doors, throwing things, screaming at the top of their lungs or walking out the front door and running far, far away after the baby has been screaming all night and the toddler has pushed them to the very brink.
Not that you even follow through on any of these impulses, (I myself, have been known to slam a few doors, much to my husband’s chagrin), however the mere existence of these thoughts in your maternal head brings forth a new feeling...one that is equally disconcerting.
Guilt. A mother’s guilt: That heavy, heavy burden that moms never leave home without. I have a secret suspicion that the reason moms have to carry around such huge diaper bags is because they need a place to stash the guilt! Seriously though, guilt can eat away at your heart and leave you feeling ineffective and discouraged.
Moms seem to wear guilt as often and comfortably as our favourite pair of sweats. There are just so many things to feel guilty about as a Mom. In addition to the times when we lose our cool and snap just a little too easily, there are the days when we’re too busy scrubbing the crayon off the dining room walls to spend some time building block towers with our toddler, or the evenings when we’re feeding our family cereal for supper, yet again. And we haven’t yet mentioned the guilt that surrounds decisions involving staying home with our kids or working outside of the home. I could go on and on.
But let’s not. Guilt has already had enough air time. It’s time to introduce the challenger to this issue of a Mother’s guilt.
Grace.
While guilt could be compared to an old pair of sweats; grace, is more like a one of a kind Vera Wang that we admire through the shop window – we are hesitant to try it on and certain it would never fit. We consider it too exquisite, not suitable to cover our many flaws...more fitting for someone else.
Grace. Moms need it desperately and yet we are reluctant to afford it to ourselves
I say we admire the Vera Wang no longer. Try it on! You deserve it. You have one of the most difficult jobs in the universe. It is natural that you will have your days, your breakdowns, the moments that you are not proud of. You are human after all...attempting to do a job (motherhood) that requires supernatural strength, patience, and wisdom. So give yourself a break and start a new daily routine. Live in grace. When you feel the weight of guilt dragging you down, name it! Then claim the grace that abounds (2 Cor. 9:8niv), and as you put it on, let it transform your attitude and your actions in that moment. Revel in the peace and forgiveness it affords you.
Because there is something I forgot to mention about the Vera Wang. According to the price tag it has already been purchased. Your name is on the bill of sale, and while you never shelled out a dime for it, that Vera Wang is yours for the taking.
There is grace abundant, available to you. It`s true what they say; the clothes definitely make the woman, or in this case; the Mom. So wear it with confidence...and thanksgiving.
Comments
Not really anonymous but too lazy to create an account, in Surrey,
Jenn Hunston
I'm going to put on that Vera Wang for this last week, knowing the kids are in great hands (my Mom).
great post.