Learning to Listen
I’m learning to listen. It’s not as easy as it sounds; especially when there is so much noise going on around me. Sometimes I think that I spend so much time trying to get my kids to listen, that I forget that it is an important skill for me to master also.
I’m learning to listen to my 2 year old story teller. It is easy for me to smile and nod and offer encouraging grunts and affirmations once in a while without truly hearing her. But then I miss out on some of the amazing things she says. Lately her long and drawn out stories are full of 4 syllable nouns and precise adjectives. Words like “situation,” “disappointed” and “frustrating” have crept into her 2 year old vocab, and listening to her dramatic retelling of daily events is downright delightful.
I’m learning how to listen to my one year old. He’s talking up a storm…determined to keep up with his big sister, I think. I’m learning that he understands much more than I give him credit for, so I am trying to ask more questions and “listen” to his responses. I am familiar with his repertoire of words and tuned into his typical one-year old sound substitutions so that I am able to understand many attempted words that outsiders would consider nothing more than baby babble.
Last week I was trying to get supper on the table, while my son stood clingling to my leg, wailing the standard 5 o'clock wail. I pressed on in my table setting efforts, ignoring him and impatiently trying to force his water bottle into his little hands, certain that the reason for his crying was a need for rehydration. In his frustration he finally cried out adamantly, “No my wa-wa!”(a clear indication that his “wa-wa” bottle was NOT was he needed at that moment). I looked down at him, proud of his 3 word sentence and ready to praise him for his verbal efforts…only to find him standing at my feet, chubby arms outstretched, in the universal sign for “up!” I taught him the word "up" right then and felt more than a little guilty that while I was ignoring him he had been clearly communicating his need for a little cuddle time with his mom.
I’m learning to listen to my friends. Admittedly it is not always easy when one of us has a crying child clinging to our leg, or has to drop the conversation mid-sentence to go rescue the toddler who is perched on the edge of the playground structure – ready to make the leap. It’s a different way of communicating, but Moms with toddlers have a way of multitasking, and I’m finding that if I don’t ask the right questions when I have the chance, life will inevitably prevent me from finding out what is really going on in your life…where the encouragement is needed. And let’s be honest…out of an entire morning together with other mom-friends, there may be days when we spent only 5 minutes going deep, so I figure we best not waste any time.
I’m also learning to listen to God. He has so much to tell me when I finally quit talking. I wonder sometimes if I think I am so important that I ought to have that much airtime?…or if my life is just such a whirlwhind that it requires that much time just to sum it up. I know we all struggle with our prayers turning into “shopping lists,” but as a Mom, don’t you usually find you have a LONG list of petitions in regards to your children? I do. But I know God knows my heart, and I’m trying to trust Him with those hopes, and desires in attempt to free up the lines of communication. Perhaps leave a little more air time for Him.
The other day I flopped down on my bed and directed a tired, “Lord!” up towards the heavens. Oddly enough I had a huge sense of peace in that moment that He heard me. Not only that…I was strangely confident that He understood my cry without 20 minutes of rambling to expand on that one word plea.
I guess He just knows how to listen.
In any case…I find it’s not always easy. Listening takes time. And patience. And understanding. And patience. But I am always better off to have listened. Whether it be to my daughter’s story of how things went down at the park that day, my son’s attempt at telling me he doesn't understand why he can't see the moon during the daylight, or my Heavenly Father’s quiet reassurance of who He has created Me to be…and the reams of promises He has left in my name. Yes, I am always better off to have listened.
Unless we are talking about a toddler and a preschooler screaming at the top of their lungs back and forth passionately in some kind of imitation game/tribal stand-off proving domination.
And for that…there’s always earplugs.
I’m learning to listen to my 2 year old story teller. It is easy for me to smile and nod and offer encouraging grunts and affirmations once in a while without truly hearing her. But then I miss out on some of the amazing things she says. Lately her long and drawn out stories are full of 4 syllable nouns and precise adjectives. Words like “situation,” “disappointed” and “frustrating” have crept into her 2 year old vocab, and listening to her dramatic retelling of daily events is downright delightful.
I’m learning how to listen to my one year old. He’s talking up a storm…determined to keep up with his big sister, I think. I’m learning that he understands much more than I give him credit for, so I am trying to ask more questions and “listen” to his responses. I am familiar with his repertoire of words and tuned into his typical one-year old sound substitutions so that I am able to understand many attempted words that outsiders would consider nothing more than baby babble.
Last week I was trying to get supper on the table, while my son stood clingling to my leg, wailing the standard 5 o'clock wail. I pressed on in my table setting efforts, ignoring him and impatiently trying to force his water bottle into his little hands, certain that the reason for his crying was a need for rehydration. In his frustration he finally cried out adamantly, “No my wa-wa!”(a clear indication that his “wa-wa” bottle was NOT was he needed at that moment). I looked down at him, proud of his 3 word sentence and ready to praise him for his verbal efforts…only to find him standing at my feet, chubby arms outstretched, in the universal sign for “up!” I taught him the word "up" right then and felt more than a little guilty that while I was ignoring him he had been clearly communicating his need for a little cuddle time with his mom.
I’m learning to listen to my friends. Admittedly it is not always easy when one of us has a crying child clinging to our leg, or has to drop the conversation mid-sentence to go rescue the toddler who is perched on the edge of the playground structure – ready to make the leap. It’s a different way of communicating, but Moms with toddlers have a way of multitasking, and I’m finding that if I don’t ask the right questions when I have the chance, life will inevitably prevent me from finding out what is really going on in your life…where the encouragement is needed. And let’s be honest…out of an entire morning together with other mom-friends, there may be days when we spent only 5 minutes going deep, so I figure we best not waste any time.
I’m also learning to listen to God. He has so much to tell me when I finally quit talking. I wonder sometimes if I think I am so important that I ought to have that much airtime?…or if my life is just such a whirlwhind that it requires that much time just to sum it up. I know we all struggle with our prayers turning into “shopping lists,” but as a Mom, don’t you usually find you have a LONG list of petitions in regards to your children? I do. But I know God knows my heart, and I’m trying to trust Him with those hopes, and desires in attempt to free up the lines of communication. Perhaps leave a little more air time for Him.
The other day I flopped down on my bed and directed a tired, “Lord!” up towards the heavens. Oddly enough I had a huge sense of peace in that moment that He heard me. Not only that…I was strangely confident that He understood my cry without 20 minutes of rambling to expand on that one word plea.
I guess He just knows how to listen.
In any case…I find it’s not always easy. Listening takes time. And patience. And understanding. And patience. But I am always better off to have listened. Whether it be to my daughter’s story of how things went down at the park that day, my son’s attempt at telling me he doesn't understand why he can't see the moon during the daylight, or my Heavenly Father’s quiet reassurance of who He has created Me to be…and the reams of promises He has left in my name. Yes, I am always better off to have listened.
Unless we are talking about a toddler and a preschooler screaming at the top of their lungs back and forth passionately in some kind of imitation game/tribal stand-off proving domination.
And for that…there’s always earplugs.
Comments
Megan
thanks for this great reminder.