Today

It was a hard day.

I lost my temper again during dinner and everyone went quiet for a while.

She breaks the silence first.

I'm sorry Mama - that phrase always rolls off her tongue so easily...

I'm sorry too, little one.

My heart is heavy as the plates are cleared.  Standing at the sink I run the faucet and rinse the dishes.  How I wish my harsh words from minutes before could be washed away with the same ease.  Off the plates.  Down the drain.

They scamper around doing their chores and I stew.

They ready themselves for bed, unbidden, and I fall deeper and deeper into a pit lined with guilt and shame.

She calls to me.  I fall to her bedside at the familiar request, "Pray for me?"

I do.  Hoping my wavering voice is heard.  My words echoing out of that pit.

Then that young child prays for her Mama.  For healings, good sleeps and less yelling.  All welcomed prayers.  So needed.

I reach up and touch her sweet young face, "I'm sorry little one."

And grace flows freely;

"I know Mama.  You already said that before when I said I'm sorry.  You don't have to say it again and again and again."

That giggle.

She rolls over and tucks her blanket to her cheek.

Jesus' words ring in my ears as I turn out the light.

"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." 

Like little children.

Trusting.  Unpretentious.  In Jesus' own words; "humbled."

Good night Mama.

Good night little one.

And grace keeps flowing.  As it floods my pit I float to the top.

The longer I'm a parent, the more I understand what it means to be HIS CHILD.

I hum to the tune of their music as I finish my dishes.  I survey the kitchen.  Everything put back.  Wiped clean.

Ready for a new day.  New mercies.

I'm humming my own theme now.  Softly.  But with gaining strength:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.  His mercies never come to an end.  They are new every morning, new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord.  Great is Thy faithfulness.