Word
I'd never chosen a word before.
Call it laziness, call it avoidance of trendy bandwagons(okay, maybe call that pride)...call it what you will, the fact of the matter is I had never chosen a word.
I sat on my lanai in the early hours of a late November 2012 day watching the relentless waves tirelessly beat the shoreline and wondered why.
Why had I never chosen a word? I think I had a resolution a New Year or two, and I had most definitely sat down at the end of a year and traced the theme of thankfulness/God's faithfulness in my life throughout the past 365 days. That had become our family tradition during tree trimming time on my daughter's first Christmas. But what was the big deal with choosing a word?
I remember asking Him out loud one morning, "Would you have me choose a word?"
I can't remember how exactly it happened. The bookmark was there and the verses started that way. I watched that friend give up her seat at her daughter's Christmas Program...she stood at the back so a stranger could have her front row seat and the verses echoed back. I listened as the words rang out from the pulpit, a stirring in my heart, a second look at the verses and a realization that somewhere, somehow I had missed what Jesus said was the most important thing.
So anyway, it happened. I chose a word. Well, words actually. Okay it's more concisely a phrase, but the heart of it is the same. I circled it there in my Bible and printed the upper case declaration in the margin, and I knew these words would somehow give purpose to my 2013. I had missed them earlier, or maybe thought I had it figured out but either way, this would be the year to
Pursue Love.
I studied the preceding verses in 1 Corinthians 13 and memorized them with my kids. We looked at Jesus' example of LOVE and I was amazed and more than ashamed at how different it looked from my own example. I made it my mission to Pursue Love at every intersection of my day and I spent a year recording privately my daily successes and failures to this end. I watched my heart change and I learned so much and I fell further on my knees in repentance and once in a while I saw another heart sing because I had. got. it. right.
Am I further ahead when it comes to those 1 Corinthians 14:1 words? To be honest, I look back at so many missed opportunities, so many longed for do-overs and I begin to shake my head. But the Spirit quietly reminds me to lift my eyes up (from my circumstance) to the mountains, from whence my help cometh and I see it. I see Him. And I know that after these 365 days I am more closely acquainted with Love Himself. And that pursuit of love does not end with the singing of Auld Lang Syne or do-it-yourself fireworks on my Uncle's farm with those I love a few hours before midnight. That pursuit is relentless and as I follow hard after HIM I am in awe of the words in Romans 5: verses that assure me The love of God (The love OF GOD HIMSELF) has been poured out into our hearts by the Spirit whom He has given to us. (do you need a moment to let those words sink in? Yeah, I did too.)
And so there's hope. Hope! For years to come that as I pursue HIM, His love will fill my heart to overflowing and maybe, just maybe I can get it right a bit more often.
***
It goes without saying then that this November when I felt the whisper of a new word I wasn't surprised. Oh, it was just the right word. And it had already been bouncing around in my head and on my pen even onto the blog for the past few months, as I grew more passionate about it's place in my relationship with Jesus and what exactly I was supposed to be doing in this gig called motherhood. Immediately, it settled deep in my heart into a space that seemed to be there waiting for it, perhaps created for it at the beginning of time.
Restoration. For this heart, 2014 will be about Restoration. Call the word-choosing bandwagon jumping, or trendy, or even navel-gazing. Call it what you will, but this word is already breathing life into this tired, broken, head-shaking Mama.
January 1st couldn't come soon enough. Let's get this thing started, shall we?
Call it laziness, call it avoidance of trendy bandwagons(okay, maybe call that pride)...call it what you will, the fact of the matter is I had never chosen a word.
I sat on my lanai in the early hours of a late November 2012 day watching the relentless waves tirelessly beat the shoreline and wondered why.
Why had I never chosen a word? I think I had a resolution a New Year or two, and I had most definitely sat down at the end of a year and traced the theme of thankfulness/God's faithfulness in my life throughout the past 365 days. That had become our family tradition during tree trimming time on my daughter's first Christmas. But what was the big deal with choosing a word?
I remember asking Him out loud one morning, "Would you have me choose a word?"
I can't remember how exactly it happened. The bookmark was there and the verses started that way. I watched that friend give up her seat at her daughter's Christmas Program...she stood at the back so a stranger could have her front row seat and the verses echoed back. I listened as the words rang out from the pulpit, a stirring in my heart, a second look at the verses and a realization that somewhere, somehow I had missed what Jesus said was the most important thing.
So anyway, it happened. I chose a word. Well, words actually. Okay it's more concisely a phrase, but the heart of it is the same. I circled it there in my Bible and printed the upper case declaration in the margin, and I knew these words would somehow give purpose to my 2013. I had missed them earlier, or maybe thought I had it figured out but either way, this would be the year to
Pursue Love.
I studied the preceding verses in 1 Corinthians 13 and memorized them with my kids. We looked at Jesus' example of LOVE and I was amazed and more than ashamed at how different it looked from my own example. I made it my mission to Pursue Love at every intersection of my day and I spent a year recording privately my daily successes and failures to this end. I watched my heart change and I learned so much and I fell further on my knees in repentance and once in a while I saw another heart sing because I had. got. it. right.
Am I further ahead when it comes to those 1 Corinthians 14:1 words? To be honest, I look back at so many missed opportunities, so many longed for do-overs and I begin to shake my head. But the Spirit quietly reminds me to lift my eyes up (from my circumstance) to the mountains, from whence my help cometh and I see it. I see Him. And I know that after these 365 days I am more closely acquainted with Love Himself. And that pursuit of love does not end with the singing of Auld Lang Syne or do-it-yourself fireworks on my Uncle's farm with those I love a few hours before midnight. That pursuit is relentless and as I follow hard after HIM I am in awe of the words in Romans 5: verses that assure me The love of God (The love OF GOD HIMSELF) has been poured out into our hearts by the Spirit whom He has given to us. (do you need a moment to let those words sink in? Yeah, I did too.)
And so there's hope. Hope! For years to come that as I pursue HIM, His love will fill my heart to overflowing and maybe, just maybe I can get it right a bit more often.
***
It goes without saying then that this November when I felt the whisper of a new word I wasn't surprised. Oh, it was just the right word. And it had already been bouncing around in my head and on my pen even onto the blog for the past few months, as I grew more passionate about it's place in my relationship with Jesus and what exactly I was supposed to be doing in this gig called motherhood. Immediately, it settled deep in my heart into a space that seemed to be there waiting for it, perhaps created for it at the beginning of time.
Restoration. For this heart, 2014 will be about Restoration. Call the word-choosing bandwagon jumping, or trendy, or even navel-gazing. Call it what you will, but this word is already breathing life into this tired, broken, head-shaking Mama.
January 1st couldn't come soon enough. Let's get this thing started, shall we?
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