On Identity (Theft???)
The minute you become a mom, it happens.
Suddenly the nurses strap a hospital wristband on you, identifying you as “Mother,” and you effectively surrender your prior life to this new adventure. I no longer go by my first name in many venues...instead I’m “Molly and Henry’s Mom.” It’s as if my old identity has been stolen from me and in its place is one I have much less control over...let alone know anything about!
As a teacher, I was “Mrs. Sept.” I was somebody! I solved behaviour problems and taught children to read when no one else could. I conducted my class with incredible control and compassion and infused the curriculum with innovative and effective teaching practice. Parents and students alike adored me! Okay, so I’m embellishing things here, but do you get the point? My performance as a teacher, in a way, defined the way I viewed myself. To some extent, my earthly purpose was tied into my identity as “the teacher.” Sure, when I went home at night and on the weekends my friends and family refrained from addressing me as “Mrs. Sept,” and (to the best of my knowledge) I never required anyone to ask my permission before using the washroom...but the fact of the matter is, I was still “Mrs. Sept” on the inside. I knew my purpose and was reasonably certain I was fulfilling it to the best of my ability.
Now it sounds silly, because hopefully we all know that we can’t be defined by our jobs. Moreover, I feel compelled to tell you that trying to find your purpose in something so spiritually lacking will never pan out. But don’t we all do it to some extent? It often happens when we spend a large chunk of our day immersed in said activity, and feel our sense of self worth inevitably rise and fall based on our performance.
I wonder if this is especially true in Motherhood. A friend of mine sent me a timely email devotional last week that talked a bit about this. It referred to the fact that when things in your day are going right, you often instinctively feel like you are a “Good Mom.” On the flip side, when you have dished out 5 timeouts and it’s not even lunch yet and your chance to get your household tasks done was interrupted by a teething baby who needed to be held all afternoon (so your husband has no clean underwear for tomorrow)...it’s easy to feel like you are a “Bad Mom.”
All this being said, the thought for the day is this (and you can take it or leave it):
Being a mother is not your identity...it’s your ministry! Your identity, my friend, is that you are a beloved daughter of Christ, created in His image to do His work. That (for now) may be little more than caring for a precious child of His, and believe me...that is a pretty powerful mandate! But it still remains, you are HIS CHILD! And that is where you will find your identity and worth. Trying to find that worth in your daily tasks as a mom may soon lead to frustration and guilt, especially on days when those tasks seem overwhelming. However, when you base your worth in Christ, and believe that you are worth more than rubies (as the Proverbs suggest)... that confidence just may spill over into your ministry as Mom. It might even infuse your work with the fruit of His Spirit; which will naturally overflow to your kids and family. You are no longer a Mom overcome by her bad moments...but a Mom living in the strength and grace so freely bestowed on her by a loving Father.
And THAT my friend, is an identity no one can steal from you.
Suddenly the nurses strap a hospital wristband on you, identifying you as “Mother,” and you effectively surrender your prior life to this new adventure. I no longer go by my first name in many venues...instead I’m “Molly and Henry’s Mom.” It’s as if my old identity has been stolen from me and in its place is one I have much less control over...let alone know anything about!
As a teacher, I was “Mrs. Sept.” I was somebody! I solved behaviour problems and taught children to read when no one else could. I conducted my class with incredible control and compassion and infused the curriculum with innovative and effective teaching practice. Parents and students alike adored me! Okay, so I’m embellishing things here, but do you get the point? My performance as a teacher, in a way, defined the way I viewed myself. To some extent, my earthly purpose was tied into my identity as “the teacher.” Sure, when I went home at night and on the weekends my friends and family refrained from addressing me as “Mrs. Sept,” and (to the best of my knowledge) I never required anyone to ask my permission before using the washroom...but the fact of the matter is, I was still “Mrs. Sept” on the inside. I knew my purpose and was reasonably certain I was fulfilling it to the best of my ability.
Now it sounds silly, because hopefully we all know that we can’t be defined by our jobs. Moreover, I feel compelled to tell you that trying to find your purpose in something so spiritually lacking will never pan out. But don’t we all do it to some extent? It often happens when we spend a large chunk of our day immersed in said activity, and feel our sense of self worth inevitably rise and fall based on our performance.
I wonder if this is especially true in Motherhood. A friend of mine sent me a timely email devotional last week that talked a bit about this. It referred to the fact that when things in your day are going right, you often instinctively feel like you are a “Good Mom.” On the flip side, when you have dished out 5 timeouts and it’s not even lunch yet and your chance to get your household tasks done was interrupted by a teething baby who needed to be held all afternoon (so your husband has no clean underwear for tomorrow)...it’s easy to feel like you are a “Bad Mom.”
All this being said, the thought for the day is this (and you can take it or leave it):
Being a mother is not your identity...it’s your ministry! Your identity, my friend, is that you are a beloved daughter of Christ, created in His image to do His work. That (for now) may be little more than caring for a precious child of His, and believe me...that is a pretty powerful mandate! But it still remains, you are HIS CHILD! And that is where you will find your identity and worth. Trying to find that worth in your daily tasks as a mom may soon lead to frustration and guilt, especially on days when those tasks seem overwhelming. However, when you base your worth in Christ, and believe that you are worth more than rubies (as the Proverbs suggest)... that confidence just may spill over into your ministry as Mom. It might even infuse your work with the fruit of His Spirit; which will naturally overflow to your kids and family. You are no longer a Mom overcome by her bad moments...but a Mom living in the strength and grace so freely bestowed on her by a loving Father.
And THAT my friend, is an identity no one can steal from you.
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