Near the Altar

I’m currently standing on the precipice of a life changing moment; about to step off a place of sure footing…hoping at the very least that my foot finds solid ground, or even better that my wings prove worthy of flight.

The most intense part of all of this is that I take this walk of faith not alone, but with my nest of young tucked precariously under my arm.  It’s not just my future that will be forever impacted by this step off of the ledge…but the lives of three young, vulnerable, impressionable children who have no choice but to free fall with me and hope we land safely in one piece.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t second-guessed our decision to step into full-time Missions based on the impact it will have on our kids.  I am all too aware that saying yes to this venture puts time and space between my children and the ones who care most about them in the world…that it takes them away from all things known and safe and deposits them in a space that is yet to be determined.

I realize that what we are about to do flies in the face of what society tells us is good parenting.  My time in the field of Education schooled me in the dangers of disrupting a child’s environment, the consequences of pulling kids out of routine, the effects of tearing children from their friends and family.  I learned the lessons well.  I touted their truth in theory and in practice.  And yet here I stand…knowing full well that what society tells us is good parenting does not always parallel what the Bible tells us is good parenting.

Indeed, such steps of faith do not come without intense scrutiny – from within my heart as well as the outside world.  I cannot adequately defend my choice to disrupt my children’s life in this manner.  However, I can defend my choice to model willingness in following God’s call no matter the cost.

Psalm 84 says, “How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty.  I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the LORD…Even the sparrow finds a home there, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young – at a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.”

You see, that’s just it.  Above all, I long to build my nest at a place near His altar.  It may not be the “safest” place in the eyes of the world…what with all the sacrifice and surrender that goes on there…but it is where He dwells, where He finds favor with His people, and where ordinary lives become extraordinary offerings. 

And in my opinion, it’s the perfect place to raise my young.