...In Which Suffering Turns to Thanksgiving
It's Thanksgiving in my home and native land. My neighbors here in the middle of the Pacific will remain ungrateful for another 6 weeks or so (JUST KIDDING!)...and so I'll save my turkey consumption until then. Besides, it's currently 87 degrees in my house without the oven on. I suppose that should/could be something to be thankful for...depending on your point of view?
I'd like to think I'm thankful all year long. Sadly, I am acutely aware of specific instances just this week where I didn't act like it. And I'm learning that gratitude is a discipline that needs to be practiced...vocalized. The list from previous years hasn't changed significantly; I have not ceased being thankful for His grace, the cross, family, health, friends, my children, my husband, and our heritage (not necessarily in that order). It's easy to be thankful for these things...they're no brainers. Sometimes it's finding gratitude in the little things that counts more.
Our family devotion time last night was providentially on Being Thankful for all things. When we read 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it got me wondering if sometimes the most important things to be thankful for, are the things we spend our time complaining about or suffering through. Perhaps my response to these things is what truly reveals just how full of gratitude my heart really is.
Hmmm.
Well, I'm game. So here's a list of things I haven't felt thankful for lately. And my attempt to pull up my socks and live out a heart of gratitude even when I'd rather not:
~sleep deprivation. After 4 kids and endless prayers for one of those babies that sleeps through the night easily and early, I am ready to accept the fact that the Lord has something I am supposed to be learning through this season of no sleep. I'm grateful that somehow I am learning to function on little sleep and can take advantage of those quiet hours of the night to talk regularly to my Heavenly Father about a myriad of things. I'm thankful that God created rest and gives it to us as a good gift. It helps to remind myself that the fact that I need is another way to cultivate humility in my life. He - who needs not sleep - is God...and I, clearly, am not.
~ tough truth. It's not easy to hear...but again, when in the business of cultivating humility it helps to have a few friends and a husband who can call you out on your pride, drama and foolishness. I'd rather have a husband and friends who can call it like it is, than surround myself with people who never challenge me. It hurts. Then it heals. Then I am better. In so many ways.
~ my tiny little condo. I miss my house back in Canada...its back yard full of fruit, basement with room to play, rooms for all and ample kitchen counters housing lovely things made by Vitamix and KitchenAid. But reality reminds me I've got it so good. Yes, I wish my baby could sleep in her own room and that I didn't have to constantly be telling my son to stop jumping for fear of disturbing the downstairs neighbors. Life would be easier without 18 stairs down and 18 more stairs up to carry groceries...but we are blessed and God is so good and faithful in His provision of this place. And I'm thankful for the view off my lanai that reminds me of all He has done, where He has brought us.
~sick kids. I hate seeing them suffer, but it reminds us that medicine and doctors are easily accessed in our part of the world. It's also an opportunity to remember as a family that God is our Jehovah Rapha...and to depend on Him for healing and rejoice when He brings it about! And the cuddles that come with sickness remind me just who I am and what I do.
~lack of a longterm plan. I'd like to see a little farther into my future these days, but the fact is...it forces me to live in the moment more effectively. And trust. And pray.
~this mess that is "post-baby me." Nothing fits and I'm so tired of this pair of maternity shorts. My friends likely are too. (Thankfully they're saving the "tough truth" for the areas that really count!) The mirror and I are not on speaking terms and while I know it won't last forever, I'm impatient. And so tired thinking of the work ahead. BUT I'm thankful for a husband who loves me anyway and lets me know it while I'm trying to cook dinner. And for the gentle way this season reminds me that it's about what's in my heart. Which makes me look closer, more deeply...and work twice as hard on the inside than on the outside.
~no time. Oh sure, I've got 24 hours like everybody else...they just happen to be allocated differently right now. Saying "no" to good stuff hurts my pride. Watching opportunities pass by hurts my heart. But clicking through a mental slideshow of my day fills my heart with joy. The stories we read, the pictures we painted, the babies I held. The breakthroughs we made! The giggles I elicited. The truths we embraced. And right now everyone is quiet and content and loving each other. My days are full yes...but so is my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I'd like to think I'm thankful all year long. Sadly, I am acutely aware of specific instances just this week where I didn't act like it. And I'm learning that gratitude is a discipline that needs to be practiced...vocalized. The list from previous years hasn't changed significantly; I have not ceased being thankful for His grace, the cross, family, health, friends, my children, my husband, and our heritage (not necessarily in that order). It's easy to be thankful for these things...they're no brainers. Sometimes it's finding gratitude in the little things that counts more.
Our family devotion time last night was providentially on Being Thankful for all things. When we read 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it got me wondering if sometimes the most important things to be thankful for, are the things we spend our time complaining about or suffering through. Perhaps my response to these things is what truly reveals just how full of gratitude my heart really is.
Hmmm.
Well, I'm game. So here's a list of things I haven't felt thankful for lately. And my attempt to pull up my socks and live out a heart of gratitude even when I'd rather not:
~sleep deprivation. After 4 kids and endless prayers for one of those babies that sleeps through the night easily and early, I am ready to accept the fact that the Lord has something I am supposed to be learning through this season of no sleep. I'm grateful that somehow I am learning to function on little sleep and can take advantage of those quiet hours of the night to talk regularly to my Heavenly Father about a myriad of things. I'm thankful that God created rest and gives it to us as a good gift. It helps to remind myself that the fact that I need is another way to cultivate humility in my life. He - who needs not sleep - is God...and I, clearly, am not.
~ tough truth. It's not easy to hear...but again, when in the business of cultivating humility it helps to have a few friends and a husband who can call you out on your pride, drama and foolishness. I'd rather have a husband and friends who can call it like it is, than surround myself with people who never challenge me. It hurts. Then it heals. Then I am better. In so many ways.
~ my tiny little condo. I miss my house back in Canada...its back yard full of fruit, basement with room to play, rooms for all and ample kitchen counters housing lovely things made by Vitamix and KitchenAid. But reality reminds me I've got it so good. Yes, I wish my baby could sleep in her own room and that I didn't have to constantly be telling my son to stop jumping for fear of disturbing the downstairs neighbors. Life would be easier without 18 stairs down and 18 more stairs up to carry groceries...but we are blessed and God is so good and faithful in His provision of this place. And I'm thankful for the view off my lanai that reminds me of all He has done, where He has brought us.
~sick kids. I hate seeing them suffer, but it reminds us that medicine and doctors are easily accessed in our part of the world. It's also an opportunity to remember as a family that God is our Jehovah Rapha...and to depend on Him for healing and rejoice when He brings it about! And the cuddles that come with sickness remind me just who I am and what I do.
~lack of a longterm plan. I'd like to see a little farther into my future these days, but the fact is...it forces me to live in the moment more effectively. And trust. And pray.
~this mess that is "post-baby me." Nothing fits and I'm so tired of this pair of maternity shorts. My friends likely are too. (Thankfully they're saving the "tough truth" for the areas that really count!) The mirror and I are not on speaking terms and while I know it won't last forever, I'm impatient. And so tired thinking of the work ahead. BUT I'm thankful for a husband who loves me anyway and lets me know it while I'm trying to cook dinner. And for the gentle way this season reminds me that it's about what's in my heart. Which makes me look closer, more deeply...and work twice as hard on the inside than on the outside.
~no time. Oh sure, I've got 24 hours like everybody else...they just happen to be allocated differently right now. Saying "no" to good stuff hurts my pride. Watching opportunities pass by hurts my heart. But clicking through a mental slideshow of my day fills my heart with joy. The stories we read, the pictures we painted, the babies I held. The breakthroughs we made! The giggles I elicited. The truths we embraced. And right now everyone is quiet and content and loving each other. My days are full yes...but so is my heart.
"Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Happy Thanksgiving!
Comments